everyone wants to be an Anthony Bourdain foreigner. Who wants to look like a middle aged sex tourist, an overly enthusiastic weeb, or a self entitled prick?
key word is “look”. No one wants to look like the shitty foreigner. But, middle aged men usually have the financial means to travel, most people who travel are enthusiastic about cultures they visit, and everyone who isn’t enthusiastic is, by definition, unenthusiastic (i.e. downer → prick).
if you travel, you are going to look like an ass. There will be times where you cannot appear calm, composed, or effortless in your ability to talk with an old lady at the convenience store. Embrace the cringe now so you can enjoy the process of learning from your mistakes and eventually outgrow that tendency.
when you are abroad, your only goal to be to respect the people there and yourself. You are a representative of the outside world. You have permission to do things differently, and it would be a waste of this gift to do things the same as others. This shows locals, wherever they are, that it’s ok to question, wonder, be curious about the world beyond their lot. This can only serve to advance the cause of worldwide compassion.
the most important rule to follow: treat everyone - foreigners and locals, equally. Do not ever show preference for one or the other beyond a functional need to communicate when necessary. If you speak only with those you are familiar with, you evoke an air of tribal difference that manifests in hostility towards your specific complexion. If you over-yield to the culture you are visiting, you permising a societal superiority complex. This harms the currents of respect that bind your cultural paradigm to theirs, and only further isolates them from the benefits they could reap in a cross-pollination of ideals and values.
do learn as much as you can about the language and customs of a place, but don’t sweat the specifics. If anything, the language barrier forces us to speak on a level that is more human. There is magic to be found in moments of understanding without words or new ones that are fought for.